It’s never easy to put something behind you and move on from it. It never is.
But it’s always better to do the most difficult thing. To do the one thing that the majority would choose not to do. It always benefits you to do that one thing that nobody expects you to.
I’m not asking you to be a saint, to be the one who’s always shortchanging yourself. Instead of looking at it as shortchanging yourself, it could actually be the very opposite in the long run.
Here are 3 reasons why it always benefits you to be the bigger person, although it may not seem like the case.
1. Losses are temporary; and minor.
Some people think that being the bigger person would always mean that you’re losing out; that you’re allowing someone else to do unto you something that puts you at a disadvantage. But we all forget that in every single situation, there’s always one person who loses out. In every scenario, there’s always that one party which is shortchanging oneself. Think about a business, why do some companies willingly give things out to be at a “disadvantage”?
That’s only because these “losses” are temporary; or are not significant enough to worry about.
2. You learn.
This is one thing why people should always be the bigger person. You learn from all the mistakes and wrong decisions, you learn how to be smarter. You learn to be even kinder. I shouldn’t be quoting Selena Gomez, but truth is, we should all learn to kill ’em with kindness – because it always works.
Instead of learning how to be even more scheming or dangerous than people who’s done you wrong, you learn how ugly people can be. You learn the preventive measures, you learn to make smarter choices when such situations arise again. All these are lessons for yourself and only yourself – no one else can pick up.
3. You become a better person.
You learn to channel everything negative done unto you, into something even greater. You turn it into motivation to work harder. You turn all these hatred, betrayal and negativity into improving yourself and focusing on yourself. You work even harder. You think even smarter.
Let’s face it – the only reason why you’re targeted in such a situation is because people want you to fall. They want to look at you fail. They want you to be affected. They want to know that they’re worth every bit of your stress and sadness. They want to be that very one to cause you hurt. These people thrive in your inability to recover.
And all these are the exact reasons why, if you choose to be the bigger person, you will be an even better person.
Of course, being the bigger person and the one who shortchanges yourself is never easy. It is the decision the least of us would make, but we make it. The times you have to yourself, the meals you have on your own and the rides you take all alone. These times would be the hardest when you constantly ask yourself, if you’ve been disrespecting yourself. You ask yourself if you’ve made the right decision to swallow all these pain and anger and channel them into something better.
But at the end of every consideration and thought, you ask yourself if you’d be happier if you took revenge, if you became spiteful. The answer is no – nobody can ever genuinely feel better and happier in such circumstances. Nobody can become a better person by taking revenge. Nobody can.
So while it is a challenge, while it may seem at times like you’re at a disadvantage, the truth is when you look back in life, I promise you – you’ll be glad you chose to be the bigger person.