Before you begin reading this, please keep an open mind and read this with a pinch of salt. This is my personal opinion, and if you’re reading this, you’re probably curious what the reasons are. Most importantly, this post is by no means to shame men, but to help women understand the thought process and how it happens.
Everyone cheats, but why do men cheat?
Most Men Are Disloyal
If we go by our standards of cheating, where emotional and physical cheating are both included, I would say certainly that most men are disloyal. Of course, there are many men out there who wouldn’t even think about leaving you, but we aren’t talking about them right now. We’ve definitely heard break-up stories of friends’ of friends’ – he cheated and she was so upset, but she’s found someone better ever since. Same shit, different day.
In the beginning, I could never comprehend why people cheat. I was an angry lil girl in this complicated society. But over time, you experience different things, you start becoming open to reasons, to understanding every other individual. At the end of the day, you know these stories yourself. You know it’s not uncommon. Most men are disloyal.
He Cheats Not Because She’s Better, But Because He Can
When it comes to comparisons, we all take it personally. Of course, if he cheats with someone else, the first thing you ask yourself is, “Is she really better than me?” “Am I not good enough?”
The answer to both questions is Nope. Honey, he cheats with her not because she’s better, but because there was an opportunity. Honey, it isn’t that you’re not good enough, but you alone are not enough.
We all like variety. So do men. It was never about you being insufficient. It was only because she was there at the “right time”. There was an opportunity, so he took it. And he took it because she belongs there. He still wants you to be in his life. But he wants fun. He wants excitement. He wants the thrill.
He Cheats Because He’s Sure He Won’t be Caught
By “right time”, I’m referring to situations he’s in and thinks he’s safe from being caught.
He took the risk only because he knew for 80% that he won’t be caught. He’s considered the different scenarios, and it was almost impossible for him to be caught, and so he did it. You’re overseas. You’re at work. You’re too busy. You’re tired. There’s always an excuse for your absence.
Regardlessly, He Will Do It
If he wants to do it. I am a firm believer of not restricting or checking on your partner. If he wants to cheat, he will do it. He will do it even if you have the password to his phone. He will do it even if you have all his social media logins. He will do it even if you live together everyday. He will do it even when he knows you’re insecure. He will do it even if you question him about her. He will do it even if you’ve told him not to ever hurt you and he’s said yes. He will do it even if you’ve opened up and shown him how vulnerable you are. Because nothing else matters when he has an opportunity. He’s doing it for the moment.
He will do it if he wants to.
He’s Never Sorry Until He’s Caught
A man is never sorry for cheating on you, until he’s caught. If he gets away with it time and again, it’s highly likely he won’t even consider stopping. But it’s silly, because what are the chances that the other women he’s sleeping with won’t kiss and tell? Men can be naive sometimes. But they still do it because he knows he’s built the trust with you, and you would believe him over a random stranger.
I don’t say this baselessly. I know of men who cheat/have cheated. I asked if they would ever feel guilty. They cohesively said no. My next question was, how do they do it?
“I just don’t think about it”, is what most of them said. Out of sight, out of mind.
So now, if your man has ever cheated on you, I would say not to take it personally. Don’t penalise yourself for his mistakes. Instead, know what you’re worth, move on, and work on improving yourself.
Similarly for men whose partners have cheated, I can’t speak for them because I don’t personally know many women who cheat.. And I would never be able to truly relate and speak for them. But likewise, move on, work on improving yourself, and you will definitely attract the right ones who share the same values.