HE IS HOT AND COLD.
We’ve had this conversation with our friends soooo many times. Let me tell you something. Whoever that person is, is playing the game. By the game, I refer to it as the super typical dating game. I don’t have a name for it.
But simply put, this person wins by playing hard to get, because this person sincerely gives no shit about you. It could be a tinder match, or someone you’ve been seeing for awhile now. He or she is seriously not concerned about getting you hooked. He or she is not putting in effort to playing hard-to-get. He or she is simply uninterested. To make it simpler I’m just gonna refer to the other party as a HE because Im a ladyyyyy, and I am lazy to kinda rewrite he/she etc etc.
I wish I could write a long and insightful article about this but seriously, I have thought about it a lot and I have just one solution.
The solution is, not so shockingly, to not play the game. Do not even allow yourself to be hooked. So the question is, how do you not play the game?
1. Be 100% sincere and transparent because you are honest.
Say what you feel, how you feel, whenever you feel like it because there’s no fucking rules. Who is to say your love is overwhelming? Who is to say that you are being ridiculous by being honest? F them.
2. Be okay with being sad and rejected.
Mentally prep yourself before saying it all, that it is really and truly okay for you to be rejected. Do not even tell yourself that the otherwise (being accepted) will happen, because if you are dealing with a hot and cold individual, chances are he/she just isn’t interested and you gon get rejected anyhoos. Respect the rejection and move on.
Prep some tissues and get some of your buds ready for a night out right after the rejection. You’ll be fine.
3. As long as you do the above, you’re not playing the game.
Take it as it is. If he’s cold, he’s just fuckin cold la. Don’t find excuses for him during the times he’s less cold. He’s never hot, he’s just less cold. Ask yourself if he has ever asked you how your day has been. Tell him you haven’t been feeling well, see what his response is. Get him to do a personality test, see if he even bothers doing it.
If he can’t do simple things like that, he’s too obsessed with either himself or someone else to care that little about you.
Don’t play the game with him. You’ve been honest, he knows exactly what you want, which means that he knows exactly what to give you to make this work. But the problem is he’s not doing it because he’s playing the game. Andddd he’s playing the game because he doesn’t give a shit.
And when you stop playing the game with him, is when you’ll win because he can no longer manipulate you. 😉 😉