I’ve Loved And Lost But I Will Still Love Again

Thank you for the shares and likes for my previous post – for those who didn’t know, my post is also available on Huffington Post. I was not expecting it and it wouldn’t have happened if you guys didn’t think it was relatable (hahaha)… Not sure if I should feel happy about that! But anyway, I am trying to keep an open mind with this wordpress, gonna keep it personal like before and not let it be directed anywhere else just for shares and views. Thank you again :’) A short update: I’m officially starting my full-time work tomorrow yaaaaay. Been feeling really brain dead these days with work, trying to re-adjust my lifestyle and all that. Busy busy. Busy is good! Heehee.

Another update: I did another video with Gregory Shampoo and it’ll be up on his Facebook and YouTube at 7pm today! 🙂 Hehehehehe it’s gonna be funny…. I am gonna be so unglam…… Pls dun mind me…. LOL.

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Conscious, 2016. Another self-portrait test shot that didn’t make it anywhere.


 

It is a hungry, selfish and greedy generation that we live in today – this is what the articles everywhere else are trying to teach you. Surely, with all the improvements in technology, competition and standard of living today, everything and everyone is fighting to be the best. Even when it comes to relationships, people want the best and won’t settle for less (it rhymes heehee). People today are so caught up with their own scars and past that they refuse to give in or put in effort for anyone else.

Who hasn’t been hurt? Who hasn’t been betrayed? I am sure everyone reading this has felt this way before. Everyone is a victim and everyone has their own battles to fight. But some are so caught up with their own that they refuse to see the other party as an equal – someone who also has been through shit and is still willing to fight for what’s left. I am the latter. I refuse to let the past get to me.

 

It is frustrating.

It is frustrating to be seeing someone and all that they can tell you is how they’ve been hurt in their past relationships like you haven’t been before. I am just done with people who are caught up with their past. If he’s not ready, I definitely won’t want to be – at least not with him.

Like dude, I have scars too, but I am willing to let them heal and start anew, so why can’t you?

 

I see the good in people.

Some may call it being gullible but I disagree. There is absolutely nothing bad about seeing the good in people. I was having this conversation with my gf JM ytd and we’re both the same – we won’t be swayed by rumours and will rather observe people on our own. We will give you the benefit of doubt until you prove us wrong.

I don’t know, someone pls tell me this is a bad thing. I DON’T GET IT.

 

Always give a 100%.

Personally, I do not have any single thing from the past that I have regretted doing. I know it is cliché but it is so true that everything and everyone you meet is either a lesson or a blessing. And if a lesson doesn’t make you smarter, obviously you need more lessons in your life.

Everyone has control of their decisions – let’s not talk about their circumstances; but it is true that you can do what you want and you always have a choice. I always make a choice that I won’t regret and I always give my 100%. I am always sincere to everyone I meet and so I can confidently say I do not have anything to hide or feel sorry about. Surely, I have made stupid decisions but they have all taught me lessons and I’ve become how and who I am today. I’m not the nicest or smartest person but I am not stingy with my effort.

I don’t feel sorry for things I have done. I don’t have regrets. And so I am able to let go of everything from the past.

 

I move on from the past.

I don’t believe in holding on to a past that you can’t change. In the first place, I don’t believe in dwelling on things beyond one’s control. One’s mind is all it takes to shaping one’s beliefs and if all that you think of are things that are negative, nothing positive that happens to you will ever make you feel happy. And you’ll never be happy.

YOLO guys, YOLO. If you are hell bent on it being a negative one then go ahead because I surely won’t. I want to let go of things that frustrate me; I want to move on from things that make me feel like shit; I want to be happy – and so I will be.

 

I have faith.

It would be a lie to say I haven’t lost faith in what is to come before. There were times I felt like I don’t wanna be in any relationship anymore and like I couldn’t trust anyone. In fact, I still keep saying that but I know deep down I haven’t lost faith. See, I am still willing to date people and I am still willing to see the good in people. I am still willing to make an effort and keep an open mind. I really think that whatever someone has done to you in the past is a decision made by that very someone and everyone is different.

 

 

Ultimately after all that has happened in the years of my life, I am still willing to welcome (the future) him with open arms if I ever meet one I’ll love again. I will be willing to accept all the flaws I couldn’t before. That is only because all that I have been through in the past has made me a better person and made me open up more than I have before. It has taught me that closing myself up and not showing emotions have not ever benefited me. Being stingy with effort, greedy for love and unwilling to give has never benefited anyone. I know it and I refuse to be like what everyone thinks human beings are today and so, I will still love again.