It’s been 2 months since my last article. I promised to post some guest content but never got down to doing it or working the content out in entirety with these authors, but they’ll come. Hopefully within the next month.
It used to be so much about what I had on my mind, and only a handful of people read them. But now, after years of writing on relationships, people recognise me for the things I’ve written (not like hey i know cokeofalltrades, but more of like hey i saw this thing before i didn’t know u wrote it-kinda recognition), and it often comes with conversations surrounding my pieces. Truth be told, I’m tired. On top of this, I stopped talking to someone I cared a lot about due to a misunderstanding over my last content piece, and I was in the shittiest of places. However, I feel like time has only proven to me that it all happens for a reason – and often, for very good reason.
In summary, I was tired of all the drama and whatever chaos that came with writing about me, my experiences, other people I’ve met and more stories. This is exactly why I chose to take a break.
But taking this break came with a price – I started questioning who I am and what really makes me feel like myself again. I felt lost and I didn’t know if writing was truly what I liked anymore (and yeah, coco, sure – right after getting a tattoo on writing lol). To be fair, I started questioning everything in my life. My priorities in life and things I thought were important or crucial to my plans. I’m starting to doubt if they ever made sense and if they were even the right motivation. Or was I swayed because of the influence I’ve had over the years with people from different walks of life?
After these two months, I think I truly needed this. I realised I needed to write. I need to get my voice out there again, and this time, regardless of whoever reads it, regardless of consequences – be it negative. Funny how people say that when you grow older, you’re less concerned about what other people think – somehow I feel like the opposite is true for me. I start questioning if the way I live is the right way, but then again along this train of thought I decided I can’t be fucked, and you are the one who owns your fucking timeline.
Also, the person I wrote my last article for, on forgiving a cheater, actually gathered enough courage to end the engagement with said partner. Person informed me a few weeks after I wrote the article, and this is exactly what drives me to write things that may not be the most peaceful things to read. I’m fighting for what belongs to me and what I started, and I will continue to fight for it until the end of the day.
If the things I write are what people need to hear, or things I need to get off my chest, I’m fucking doing it.