After the article on the types of Singaporean fuckboys that went viral unexpectedly, I hope you Singaporean girls learnt a few funny things and also, for everyone to not take it too seriously. It was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek and I totally understand that hate comments will come along with it, which is why I approved every single one of them. I honestly don’t have an issue with people speaking their mind about what I wrote – it gives me insight and I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. I apologise to people who felt offended as it has never been my intention. However, I will not apologise for what I wrote because those were real stories, real people I’ve come across and I don’t see why I should sugar coat it just to please. Making everyone happy, or to like me, is not the reason why I started writing. If you feel like you can relate, great, keep sending me your messages and comments about what I wrote, you know the drill – I love a good conversation. 🙂
Anyways, I have been working on this article for awhile but I had to bring it forward and release it because creating “sexist” content has never been my intention. This wordpress started off as a personal outlet of expression, and people felt like they could relate. The reason why most of my posts are from a female standpoint, talking about guys, is because, duh – I’m a female and I can’t accurately write how females date since I personally haven’t dated girls and I wouldn’t know for sure what most girls think. Neither do I want to jump into writing it if I can’t be confident of the content. So here goes- yet again to the ladies 😉
Lo and behold, the types of Singaporean men you girls should date. If he shows one of these listed signs, get him the hell outta the friendzone already… I know, yada yada yada… Guys keep saying we friendzone the nice guys and date only the fuckboys. But that’s true, let’s face it. I’m sure every girl out there has a nice guy who has been trying to get her attention for the longest time but somehow, he falls out of the radar.
As much as chemistry between both parties is important, should a guy be under your consideration and has shown some of these signs, it is a green light that you should really get him out of the friendzone. RIGHT BOUT NOW
1. He always makes sure you get home safe, especially in the night.
Yes, we are all independent women today. But it doesn’t hurt to send a text or drop a call to check if we get home safe. TBH, if a guy can’t care less if you made it home in one piece, he wouldn’t care about anything else.
Let’s not talk about the nights you’ve gone partying – because you’d better take damn good care of yourself n not let someone else worry bout that, woman.
2. He’s a family man.
After all, we are looking for someone whom we can eventually build a family with. My idea of a family man does not necessarily mean that he has to be living with his family or are super tight with his grandparents n all that. It’s how he treats people he calls family. I know of men who live with their parents but are really spoilt and way too pampered; nor showing much respect.
As long as your guy has shown signs of caring for his family members and yours, it’s a sign he’s a keeper.
3. He’s consistently sincere.
He is consistent in the things he tells you. Most importantly, he’s consistent with his actions. By actions it is NOT the act of gifting – but little things like making sure you are doing fine. I especially appreciate it when quiet guys (who aren’t verbally expressive) do little things such as adjusting your cardigan when it has fallen off a little… When he asks if the air conditioning is too cold for you. He doesn’t just say or do things to please you, but because he sincerely cares for your wellbeing – which brings about the next point.
4. He doesn’t agree to every single thing you say.
A man who loves you would agree to whatever you want – but so would a man who wants to get in your pants. There is a fine line and it is not always easy to tell. But one thing for sure, if a guy lets you win for all the little squabbles such as which superhero is the best…. but his stand stays for something he truly believes in – could be principles, values, or tells you when you are really being unreasonable. That’s when you know he’s a keeper. He doesn’t find fault with you for no reason but tells you when he thinks you could be better.
To have a partner is to bring out the better in one. If a guy is saying yes to all your unreasonable demands, he’s not doing it the right way to make you a better person.
We can all agree that ladies can act really spoilt when given the opportunities.
5. He is supportive of your plans.
A man who wants the best for you would be supportive of your plans you have for yourself. By “plans”, I’m referring to plans that will aid in your own development as an individual – could be a simple goal like getting into a company you’ve always wanted to work for or to further your studies overseas.
As a lady, I would be 100% supportive if my partner wants to go away for awhile to work on something he has been wanting to do. Even if it means I would miss him, I would have no complaints, and if such a guy comes by who is willing to compromise on whatever quality time we would have to sacrifice, I won’t let him go.
So girls, don’t complain about your man if he’s happy when you suggested you’d have to go away for awhile because he behaves as if “he doesn’t care”. Most men are logical thinkers more than they are emotional, he’s probably just really happy for you. I’d die to have a man like that. Let’s not overthink it.
6. He is emotional.
I don’t know why some ladies cringe on the idea when a man is “too emotional”. If a man is too egoistic to be in touch with how he feels on the inside, he’s not ready to open up. Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. It’s not easy to get a man to open up. So let’s appreciate it when a man gets emotional and shows you his softer side because you know, nobody else gets to see it.
If a man opens up to you about his worst moments and scars, he trusts you a lot – or at least enough to be one of the few he’d want to share this side to. We are only human. Just like ladies, men too need assurance. Some open up to gain sympathy while some open up and bare it all because they’re bold and they’re willing to give it one more try.
A man who embraces his emotions infront of you is a man who won’t call you “crazy” or “unreasonable” when you get emotional. & let’s face it girls, we are sick of being called crazy.
7. Your friends think he’s not “good enough” for you
– when it comes to money and status.
It doesn’t matter how well he speaks – but it really matters if he can connect with you on an intellectual level. Apart from the emotional connection we seek, if a man is able to hold a conversation – in a sense of being on the same track, singing the same tune – that would be a bonus.
Why is this an important point? Simple. Because there will always be bitchy girl friends. There will be girl friends of yours who can never understand why you’ve fallen for this guy because he is “lacking in some areas” – but you know very well they’re referring to his financial or societal status. But you’re too afraid to fight this peer pressure – to stand up for yourself and for him to say that he’s the one you want. I’ve seen a lot of such fame and money-driven people to tell you that giving up on someone who has managed to connect with you intellectually is an ultimate loss on your end. Especially so if you’ve let him go because of superficial pressure.
I am not one who would determine a man’s intellect by the car he drives or the amount he has in his bank account…. or even his family background. In fact I’ve never had a boyfriend who owned a car or was able to chauffeur me around – and of course it never mattered. The bus and train rides were the times we had the best conversations and connections. Singaporean men are “passive” and “too humble”… or at least the generalisation is.
But I love a humble man.
8. He takes you to kopitiams!
Okay I’m so done with people saying “girls only love fancy restaurants” because guess what!? The best boyfriends are the ones who know which Kopitiam has all the good food. SERIOUSLY – why spend so much on a meal when you can spend $4-5 for a plate of super shiok chicken rice? (Think 925 all y’all Yishun folks)
This point is legit because being able to bring good affordable food to you means on his normal days, he eats at Kopitiams = he doesn’t mind having no a/c + he is thrifty too = smart + not afraid of bugs and hardship = seriously Husband material. I’ve been with one who dapaoed chicken wings for me once before after I ended work and I was so silently touched I cried on the inside.
A man who can’t tahan eating in a non-airconditioned area is a man who can’t take hardship – some might argue, “if he can afford, why not?” – my response is, sure, go ahead, but I’d not recommend that. We want a man who won’t crumble n melt if he ever falls… 😉
I learnt to identify the false love from true ones by their fruits, humbleness and how free they were from wordily desires.
– Santosh Avvannavar