Fear is a powerful emotion. It motivates you to do more things but it also holds you back from doing better things.
Fear, like many emotions, cannot be controlled. Fear sneaks up on you from behind, and it pounces on you at the most important moment. It could cripple you. It could also make you climb farther than you could ever imagine.
The key to dealing with fear is to acknowledge it, accept it and embrace it. Fear is essential to survival. Without fear we’d all be stupid human beings, not like we already aren’t, making bad decisions. We’d do things boldly and have no sense of urgency.
For the longest time in my life since I was a child, fear keeps me up at night. I am very close to my parents and siblings. Family is first. This was my fear. I was afraid to lose them. I was afraid of natural disasters. I was afraid of all these only because of the possibility that I would lose them some day somehow. It keeps me from venturing out. It keeps me from moving out. It keeps me from making decisions that would upset them.
Fear is knowing that I may not have tomorrow to live, so why would I ever be mean to anyone today? Fear is the realisation that holding back your feelings and emotions is a waste of time because one may disappear anytime. This made me into who I am today. I am someone who would never hold back if I have feelings for another.
It made me realise the importance of expressing myself – at least the positive feelings. Why would I want to waste a day quarrelling if I could have fun with you?
Fear is to forgive. Do me unjust and I would not waste a day hating you. I want to spread love. I don’t want to spread hate. Fear is making me a vulnerable human.
After all that fear has made me feel, it has also turned me into that person people take advantage of, because she’s too nice. She would not hesitate to forgive you, but they forgot that the only reason she forgives is because you’re not worth the time and emotions.
Not only that, all have also forgotten that fear has made me fearless. I acknowledge my fears. I embrace them. I accept them. I learnt to deal with facing my fears. When it bugs you every single time you want to step out of your comfort zone, trust me, you start learning to deal with them. You start reading on them. You start finding ways to fight them. Start asking yourself – what is the worst case scenario? Are you prepared to face them? If you are, you no longer fear.
My dad had taught me since young that we should never succumb to people’s threats. Someone could point a knife at you and threaten to take away your life – but it only works if you’re afraid. So the question is – what if there is nothing left to threaten? What if there is nothing left that nobody could hold your dear life to? That someone could be a something. Your job, your financial commitments, your contracts. It could be anything.
Fear is also being free – free of all certainties. What is living if you know this is all there is to it?