posts thoughts

What is Fear?

Fear is a powerful emotion. It motivates you to do more things but it also holds you back from doing better things.

Fear, like many emotions, cannot be controlled. Fear sneaks up on you from behind, and it pounces on you at the most important moment. It could cripple you. It could also make you climb farther than you could ever imagine.

The key to dealing with fear is to acknowledge it, accept it and embrace it. Fear is essential to survival. Without fear we’d all be stupid human beings, not like we already aren’t, making bad decisions. We’d do things boldly and have no sense of urgency.


For the longest time in my life since I was a child, fear keeps me up at night. I am very close to my parents and siblings. Family is first. This was my fear. I was afraid to lose them. I was afraid of natural disasters. I was afraid of all these only because of the possibility that I would lose them some day somehow. It keeps me from venturing out. It keeps me from moving out. It keeps me from making decisions that would upset them.

Fear is knowing that I may not have tomorrow to live, so why would I ever be mean to anyone today? Fear is the realisation that holding back your feelings and emotions is a waste of time because one may disappear anytime. This made me into who I am today. I am someone who would never hold back if I have feelings for another.

It made me realise the importance of expressing myself – at least the positive feelings. Why would I want to waste a day quarrelling if I could have fun with you?

Fear is to forgive. Do me unjust and I would not waste a day hating you. I want to spread love. I don’t want to spread hate. Fear is making me a vulnerable human.

After all that fear has made me feel, it has also turned me into that person people take advantage of, because she’s too nice. She would not hesitate to forgive you, but they forgot that the only reason she forgives is because you’re not worth the time and emotions.

Not only that, all have also forgotten that fear has made me fearless. I acknowledge my fears. I embrace them. I accept them. I learnt to deal with facing my fears. When it bugs you every single time you want to step out of your comfort zone, trust me, you start learning to deal with them. You start reading on them. You start finding ways to fight them. Start asking yourself – what is the worst case scenario? Are you prepared to face them? If you are, you no longer fear.

My dad had taught me since young that we should never succumb to people’s threats. Someone could point a knife at you and threaten to take away your life – but it only works if you’re afraid. So the question is – what if there is nothing left to threaten? What if there is nothing left that nobody could hold your dear life to? That someone could be a something. Your job, your financial commitments, your contracts. It could be anything.

Fear is also being free – free of all certainties. What is living if you know this is all there is to it?

1 comment

  1. Hi there,
    Just read this blog post and I think this world we live in today is a sad world.
    plagued with so many tragic events and they are reported all over social media every time we log on to facebook or twitter
    or just reading the news alone. I say this because we humans are kinda hardwired to remember the negative things easily
    but not the happy and positive things.

    I am person who stopped writing about anything sad or tragic on facebook. Why ? because it is easy to remember
    the negative things, I don’t need my facebook wall to remind me of it. Why not post happy things for a change ?
    Post that would help me cheer up even during the darkest hour. I stay close to family because they are my
    first and final defense line to any problems that I face.

    I think that there are so many sad people around with broken relationships either with their spouse or friends or even
    in worst cases family members because I think people today cannot seem to be contented with simple things in life.
    I will use guys as an example and I am talking about guys wanting to own a car. To me a car is burden, you spend so much
    on a car but you lose the time you can spend together with your love one. The reason I say that is because when you are
    on the road there are so many things that your mind has to deal with, like parking, rush hour, traffic jams and maybe
    someone pissed you off on the road and because of that you lose your temper at your other half for example.
    is that really worth it ? vs taking a bus together and talking about happy things ? why spend so much on a car when
    you end up losing what is so dear to you ?

    Another example is I have seen people who build their careers so high up but they are so poor on the inside. They are rich
    and loaded with cash but they lose time with family and before they know it. Regret creeps in, why did I not spend more
    time with my mum or dad or maybe little sister who died in a road accident ? You never know what is going to happen.
    What about wives who rarely see their husbands because they are busy making money ? that is very sad too..

    I will conclude by saying spend more time doing happy things and be happy about the simplest things.
    Never look at someone else’s plate and compare.


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